The Drinking Dinos – Capt.
Brett Parker & James Epp
2013 Beauty Cup of Beersbee Champions
2014 5th Place
2015 Beauty Cup of Beersbee Champions
2013 was the year the Dinos made personal. After a full summer of extensive training, and pulling together a dream team made up of only three members, Brett led the Dinos through passionate games and rallies alike. With a full third of his team absent for the round robin, Brett and James Epp (the tournament’s first over-all draft pick) successfully weathered all challengers, most who double their roster. As the duo began to waiver, Michael Hogg arrived and was able to inspire his weary team mates into a spot in the finals. Against Brady and Team Attractive, the stage had been set for a passionate and emotional sprint to the finish. Coming down to a final shoot out, Brett pulled from his team sweat, blood, and tears, and gave them back the Beauty Cup.
2014, the Dinos were all business. Poised to capitalize on past success, Brett prepares to focus his team for razor-sharp efficiency and effect. Despite not having top draft pick, the Dinos leadership and prestige cannot be ignored. Athletes and staff alike recognize what the Drinking Dinos mean to the league. To be drafted to the team is to be a part of living history, and to be coached by a future hall-of-famer. To have them in the Beauty Cup league brings a fan base the league cannot do without (nearly 50% of Beauty Cup merchandise sold is branded Drinking Dinos). While nearly all other teams must look back at past mistakes and how to correct them, Brett and the Dinos have the benefit of only having to look forward to glory.
2015 will be the year the Dinos hope to return to the Beersbee Elite. After an off year in 2015; and allegations that the Dinos were caught up in tampering, bribery and throwing games for profit, the Dinos look to regain their good name. Recruiting the first ever pick in the Beauty Cup of Beersbee, Brett turns to James for the support he desperately needs as he becomes bogged down with litigation from the World Association of Frisbee Sports and Beer. Could the Dinos again be the centre of controversy? Or will the rise up and return to their rightful place? Only time will tell, only they can make it happen.
2015 saw the Drinking Dinos take home their second Beauty Cup and established them as a true powerhouse in the league. They were poised to become a dynasty rivalling the Islanders of the 80s, or the Bulls of the 90s. But bad financial decisions derailed those plans, leading to a disastrous offseason.
With the belief that “Oil comes from Dinos”, Brett invested all of his career earnings in the oil industry. By the fall of 2015 Brett was penniless and forced to sell his captaincy and his shares in the Drinking Dinos to fellow champion James. Brett now enters Free Agency, looking to sign a lucrative contract, and complete his riches to rags to riches story. In the meantime, James looks to rebuild the Drinking Dinos from the ground up, and captain them to a third Beauty Cup of Beersbee.
The Disc Chargers – Capt. Mike Loukopolous &
2013 4th place (as Mojo Fury)
2014 3rd place (as The Hype)
2015 5th place
Known as the Mojo Fury, Amber lead a team of unknowns in 2013. Choosing Emily “Lightyear” Lightyear as the second over-all draft pick, and Joel Carter as their anchor, the Mojo Fury were an enigma for many teams. Losing all but one of their round robin games (ironically, the one victory being against the Hype), Amber was able to rally her team in the playoffs, and took the Golden Showers to an unfortunate 3-2, 2-3, 2-3 shoot-out loss for Mojo. Despite an Herculean effort, the Mojo Fury were never given the Cinderella Story they sought. Something needed to change.
In September of 2013, rumours began to spread that Derrick was shopping around the Hype. Unable to turn the team into a viable business, he was desperate to unload the name and logo and cut his losses. Where many saw a toxic deal, Amber saw opportunity. Now armed with a team that has so much emotion tied to its name, Amber is able to benefit from both a clean slate as well as the knowledge and experience gained from coaching the Mojo Fury. Ideally, the name on the front of the jersey will infuriate their opponents, but the athletes underneath will know they are lead by a captain prepared to try anything to win this years championship.
In a world full of strife, Amber has been at the forefront of change. Bearing the name of Captain in 2013, leading now defunct team Mojo Fury to 4th place, and taking over for the now unforsaken team The Hype, championing them to a 3rd place finish in 2014, Amber is now going through another team metamorphosis. The game is evolving, and as such, a new breed of team is needed. Realizing this, Amber called upon The Beauty Cup’s undisputed champion of debauchery and enthusiasm, Mike Loukopoulos. After last years “sunset fiasco”, Mike was distraught with his performance, and never thought he would be anything more than a pawn in the game. Amber saw this opportunity to snag up what some would consider the player with the most untapped potential, and will groom him, mold him, into the Co-Captain that she not only needs, but deserves. With another female captain entering the foray for 2015, Amber is now more determined than ever to establish herself as the Queen Bee of Beersbee.
This year marks the franchise debut of The Disc Chargers. Armed with Ambers fierce wit, grace, and beauty, alongside Mikes creativity, ability to make short shorts a returning trend, and drink his own weight in alcohol, The Disc Chargers are ready to take the pitch by storm. With an immense amount of training occurring in the off season by both Captain and Co-Captain, this year’s competitors will be stunned by the sheer athleticism that The Disc Chargers will bring to the tournament. Utilizing the powers of friendship and teamwork, Amber and Mike will morph their team into Champions. “No gimmicks. No hype. Just talent.” This is the mantra that will carry The Disc Chargers to the winners circle.
2016 marks the year where former pawn Mike Loukopoulos now steps into his birthright as the Captain of The Disc Chargers. The powers of captaincy were entrusted to Mike after his co-captain Amber graciously bowed out, deciding to “quit while [she is] ahead” after being crowned the 2015 tournament MVP.
As a now seasoned Beauty Cup participant, Mike is looking to solidify himself amongst the greats by bringing an overwhelming amount of charisma to the Beauty Cup. After a disappointing finish last year, The Disc Chargers are the clear underdogs entering the competition this year. The pressure is even greater as The Disc Chargers have been awarded the first overall draft pick of the 2016 Beauty Cup. Already being hounded by his fellow captains for the coveted spot, Mike realizes that this may be his golden ticket to victory. However, don’t expect Mike to crack under the pressure. His relentless training regimen of alcohol consumption and moderate exercise will give himself not only an edge physically, but mentally as well. The stakes have never been higher and the shorts have never been shorter. This year, The Disc Chargers are stronger than before, fired up for more, and ready to even up the score at the 2016 Beauty Cup.
The Bear Backers – Capt. Michael Hogg &
2014 Expansion Team
2014 Beauty Cup of Beersbee Champions
2015 2nd place
A late arrival. A winning performance. A championship night. Michael Hogg was the right man at the right place at the right time last year. Drafted tenth over-all by the Drinking Dinos, Michael’s team played the entire round robin without him. Coming in cold to a strong team, he was able to maintain their standard of excellence, and helped to push that team into the history books. Only now is he reaping the true rewards of such a strong victory. Voted in as a new captain for 2014 by his peers and colleagues, the heat of the spotlight falls heavy on him as other returning athletes watch for any hesitation or stutter from him. He is in a unique position, where he not only has the expectation of winning the championship again, but must do so against another team with the very same expectations on themselves. Awarded the first over-all draft pick for 2014, one must wonder what the strategy will be: reunite with James Epp (the only 2013 Drinking Dino eligible in this years draft), or choose another and build his team his way.
Michael Sean Hogg triumphantly exited the spotlight in 2014 as a two-time Beauty Cup Champion. His ragtag team included everything from a former teammate and fellow champion to a silent-but-sober sniper. Pressure mounted as he pulled his team together to prove that they were more than just the best-dressed contenders for the cup; they were the ones who would prove themselves the strongest and emerge victorious. This year, all eyes are on him once again, the burden of expectation is on him to deliver an unprecedented third cup. He has pulled former teammate and notoriously emotional loose cannon Elaina Austin behind him while his former Dinos brethren have banded together across the pitch. The cynics of the Beersbee community will always want to put an asterisk next to his past victories; we know, however, that a threepeat will silence detractors and cement his name forever in the Hall of Fame.
It has been an arduous year for the former champion Bear Backers. The beloved underdogs who became heroes of the game back in 2014 were left devastated after a loss against the Drinking Dinos during the 2015 Beauty Cup finals.
As a result of their failure, a major restructuring took place within the Bear Backers organization. Team Co-Captain Elaina Austin’s co-captaincy was dissolved and was last seen entering into an arranged marriage with a former enemy while Team Captain Michael Hogg was reduced down to an errand boy within the team, and would have remained there had he not realized that he was in fact the only active member left in the organization and solely responsible with bringing the team back its former glory. With a fire in their hearts and a thirst for vengeance, the Bear Backers have their eyes set on reclaiming their rightful spot as the greatest champions/underdogs/queermos the game deserves.
Other teams beware, because we’re coming Bear Back.
Cupital Punishment – Capt.
Liana “Sniperwolf” Tilt; Gareth “Gary” Tilt
2015 Expansion Team
2015 3rd Place -(as Cupital Punishment)
They came from the great white north, from beyond the wall where only few have gone before and even fewer have returned. They trained in the game of Freeze-bee played with discs made from weighty blocks of chillingly cold ice hurled with their bear hands to develop their strength…..and no,’bear’ hands is not a typo. In order to join the two most powerful families in the north, freeze-bee champion, Liana ‘Sniperwolf’ Greiner married Gareth Tree Crusher Tilt who was known for logging the Williston lake reservoir with nothing but a dulled-edged frisbee and three well placed throws. Liana was bequeathed her title of’ Sniperwolf’ in Creston B.C. as a member of Team Attractive in some of the first matches of the game of Beersbee but this will be her first official Beauty Cup. The pair plan to deliver some lethal blows to the competition this year as Cupital Punishment makes their debut in the tournament.
It’s a dog eat dog world out there and no one knows that better than relative newcomers to the Beersby scene: Unleashed. With 4 legs up on the competition, they are ready to take a bite out of anyone who steps in their way. Who better to take the championship in a game about sticks and Frisbees? You better bring your baggies as shit is going to go down. They love to walk the walk and are planning to make things awfully ruff for anyone who steps in their way. So get ready to play as they will be racking up the wins: 7 you got it! 8, you bet! O-Canine; however many it takes to claim the Beauty cup!
Team Ragnarok – Capt. Brandon Miskie
2016 Expansion Team
Team captain Brandon missed the inaugural beauty cup because of travel issues, it haunted him for the remainder of the year and he vowed not to miss another.
2014 saw Brandon bring drafted by the top gunners and a pedestrian performance showed he clearly hadn’t prepared for the tourney mentally and extensive travelling wore the rookie out. The top gunners were eliminated in the quarter finals and while this was a tough exit, it gave Brandon proper insight and a good introduction into what was expected at the tourney.
Following the defeat, Brandon spent the remainder of summer on the never ending plains learning to adjust his game and work on throwing techniques. 2015 came and Brandon entered the tournament with a sharpened mindset. Drafted in the middle of the pack, he was selected by the drinking Dino’s. Paired with hall of famers, Parker and J.Epp, Brandon was able to show his value on route to his first Beauty Cup.
Now with the next Beauty Cup fast approaching, team Ragnarok will make its first appearance. Brandon will be keen to prove that last year was no fluke and this is his opportunity to showcase his skill, and determination for what it truly is.
The Disc Jockeys – Capt. Dan Wiersma
2016 Expansion Team
2016 marks the inaugural year of team Disc Jockeys in the Beauty Cup of Beersbee.
Having been a part of extremely prestigious team’s such as Team Attractive(2013), Drinking Dino’s(2014), and last but not least Billy Mays Revival(2015) there was no capturing the elusive Beauty Cup. Last year dropping in the draft rankings due to a nagging ankle injury, owner/captain/coach Daniel Wiersma is hoping the purchase of team Disk Jockeys and a 100% healthy ankle will turn the tides right round right round like a record baby right round round round.
The Fris-BEES!? – Capt. Joel Brooks
2016 Expansion Team
Bee-lieve it or not, the most buzzworthy team this year is without a doubt The Fris-BEES?! Captained by Beeauty Cup veteran Joel Brooks, many beelieve this expansion team won’t present much of a threat. After all Brooks was the only player beeset with the reputation of consecutive dead last finishes in the first two seasons of the Beeautiful Game, and the hivemind talked beehind his back about his inabeelity to keep his bee-r drinking under control.
In fact, it got bad enough that leading up to the 2015 draft, one head scout opined “honey, comb through your prospect list beefore even considering Brooks.” Beetween the shame of his beesmirched reputation and the sting of beeing such a late pick, Brooks resolved to keep himself at a respectable level of buzzed in 2015. Suddenly, with top-3 finishes in hits and points, he beecame a player worthy of beeing a captain…maybee.
Not to be a buzzkill, but Brooks went from his former bumbling performances to a beeguiling player only once he joined the beehemoth team, 2015 runner-ups The Beear backers. Led by two-time champion Michael Sean Hogg and Elaina Austin, the team also helped beeat the 2nd last overall pick Brooks’ fondness for the nectar by beeseeching 2nd overall draft pick Yuki Ihara to withold any beeaver-related access unless he beehived.
It remains to bee seen if The Fris-BEES?! are truly an unbeeatable team or will experience a colony collapse, but there won’t be anyone pollen a fast one on this team. After all, you have to beelieve they’re going to snag a beeastly prospect 2nd overall.
So, best not beegrudge The Fris-BEES?! the respect they deserve or else you’ll be looking on them from beehind once they’re done swarming you, and beehind The Fris-BEES?! is a dangerous place to BEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Knights of the Holy Ale – Capt. Joel Carter
2016 Expansion Team
First drafted by Amber back in 2013, Joel had a rocky debut. With flashes of offensive brilliance, Joel lacked both the consistency and the complete defensive game that his team needed. The Mojo Fury never made it past the semifinals after a heartbreaking shootout loss to The Hype.
The following year saw Joel tumble down the draft due to these weaknesses, eventually getting picked up by the Top Gunners. With a strong start to the tournament, the Top Gunners were looking like the team to beat that year. What followed was perhaps the greatest upset in Beersbee history, when the 5th seed Team Attractive knocked out the first seed top Gunners in an improbable bout of scoring that saw Joel’s playoff hopes drowned in bitter, malty defeat.
Taking a year off last year, and questing far to the East; Joel was baptized in the icey ales of Ontario. While deeply inebriated, Joel had a vision. Two years, two bitter defeats. Joel knew that he was missing something in his Beersbee game. That something was religion. As a devoted atheist, Joel was failing to tap into the limitless power of faith.
Thus was born the Order of the Knights of the Holy Ale. Sworn to oaths of chivalry and honour, the Knights of the Holy Ale are devoted to spreading the gospel of Saint Arnold of Metz, patron saint of beer drinkers, and his immortal words “don’t drink the water, drink beer.”
With bottomless faith now added to his game, Joel has turned into the complete player he has always shown promise of being. With such skill and piety at its helm, the Knights of the Holy Ale are ready to charge the field this Beauty Cup, and will stop at nothing to complete their quest for total victory!